Trying to Conceive? Become a Fertile Vessel
Have you tried ALL the things and done everything right and still cannot conceive? If this is you, I feel you.
The good news is there is more you can do (or undo) than is traditionally talked about by fertility specialists.
The frustration and pain, the ‘what is wrong with me’ feelings. The most commonly neglected aspect of fertility is emotions. Yes, emotions. If even just thinking about your emotional life makes you uncomfortable, don’t worry, you got this. I’m here to help!
The Wisdom of Chinese Medicine
In Chinese medicine we can’t have physical health without emotional health. Each of our organs has a story to tell; each carries its own emotion and intelligence. The heart is the organ that feels all the emotions and most especially joy. If our spleen, lung, kidneys and liver are bogged down in the emotions of worry, sadness, fear, or anger they will not function optimally and they will inform the heart.
What does my heart have to do with my fertility, you ask?
Well, in Chinese Medicine a very important vessel (like a meridian but deeper) stores emotional energy and channels it between the heart and womb. Emotional stress, or old wounds that need processing change the environment of our body and directly influence our fertility. The womb has a direct line of communication with the heart, and the heart is the mediator of our entire emotional life.
Think about it… Have you ever been traveling and skipped your period, or had a tragedy and bled too much? Our bodies are super intelligent. It is not a good time to be fertile when emotional stress outweighs our feel-good hormones.
The source of stress that’s most often belittled is our emotions. It’s stressful for our bodies to carry old emotions, and most of us have them. We store them for when we “have the time” to deal with them. We push them down and keep going because they are too big or seem too unfriendly.
It is not a good time to be fertile when emotional stress outweighs our feel-good hormones.
Your emotions matter more than you think (or may know) . . .They send messages to your body that are keeping you in a state of stress. Often it is just enough stress to tip the scale toward infertility.
Having a baby is one of the most heart-opening experiences, so what better time to dive in and do some emotional unwinding. It’ll free up energy you didn’t even realize you had.
Ready to get started?
Here are 8 Ways to Clear the Emotions Keeping You from Conceiving
Note: You can start anywhere and pick the exercises that resonate most with you. Bear in mind though that we often resist doing the exercise that will help us the most. It’s easy to get used to feeling a certain way and want to protect ourselves from change. With that in mind, commit to doing 4 of these 8.
1. Download my Emotional Unwinding video and have a journal handy. Listen as many times as you like and write in your journal each time afterward to process.
2. Explore areas of your body where you typically carry tension or areas that you skip over. These are usually areas where we have emotional content stored. For example, if every time you do a body awareness exercise your pelvis feels murky, take some time to put your hands over your sacrum, lower belly and sit-bones. Can you illuminate or feel into these areas? If it feels impossible to you, think of this as an exercise in imagination.
3. Use your imagination to create a picture of what your body is feeling in the area you are attending to. Then, choose the medicine you feel is proper to clear out what you want to release. You could imagine a windstorm, thunder and lightning, a waterfall, any number of things. Then, envision your inner landscape. Ask, how can I help you flourish? Always infuse areas that you clear out or untangle with the energy you want to bring in.
4. Get acupuncture to help release places where emotional energy might still be physically stuck. It’s very helpful to have additional healing hands and kind attention along the way.
5. Take a vacation or book a retreat, and make sure to spend some time solo in nature while away.
6. Ask to dream about what you need to do next for your healing process. If you don’t have a dream or get a feeling about what you need to do then consider these options:
- If your feelings are directed at a person, consider writing a letter where you hold absolutely nothing back. You could write and rewrite it as many times as you need without sending. Then, ask yourself whether sending it would do any good. Could it help facilitate your healing or help you feel resolve?
- Create a ritual where you release something. This could be cutting your hair, breaking something, giving something away or cleansing something in water by letting it sit submerged for a day, or some meaningful period of time.
7. Consider how supported or unsupported you feel. What things do you have control over that would help you get the support you need? If asking for help is hard for you it is good practice. Being a mom definitely requires a support network!
8. Find a way to bring in the energy of new life. Perhaps a new plant you water and every time you water it you send out the nurturing energy you hope to be sending to your future baby and your future mom-self. For some people a new pet really helps because it truly does reduce emotional stress (and release oxytocin!) when we bond with our furry friends.
